How Can You Overcome Childhood Obstacles?
Many of our behaviors can be traced back to our childhood.
Children deserve unconditional love and parenting that provides a balance between nurture and structure. Because many adults did not receive this nurturing when they were children, their interaction with their own children does not always provide this balance of nurture and structure. There is no point in blaming our parents now, as they themselves are products of the nurturing and structure – or lack thereof – they received from their parents. When children receive discounting messages, they form many unconscious beliefs that are not accurate.
You may have been one of those children, whose unconscious, inaccurate beliefs affect your behaviors, which in turn affects the way people respond to you.
How can you overcome childhood obstacles and realize your dreams?
- A rough start does not mean you cannot have a successful finish.
- Most successful people have experienced many obstacles and failures.
- The key is to stay focused on what you want most.
Aaron Murphy of ADM Architecture has shared with me his story of a rough entrance into life and other obstacles he later encountered. With persistence, Aaron has overcome many of these obstacles. He was fortunate to have supportive parents, which gave him a leg up in overcoming the difficult hand he was dealt at birth.
I was coming. It did not matter who was ready (or not ready, more clearly stated) for my arrival. My due date was not for another 11 weeks. That point was moot, as it was clear that TODAY was to be my birthday. The unfortunate part of this stubborn decision by my body and my mother’s womb was that I was far from physically prepared for the outside world. That was to be painfully clear in just a few moments.
Apparently I was so early, at 29 weeks, that the skin over my stomach had not completely formed yet. When I “hit the table”, so did my entire internal inventory: organs, intestines, etc., all came into the world with their own detached opinion, so to speak. A major skiing buff might have described this arrival of me and my insides as a “yard sale, hat, gloves strewn about across the hill, as they should be in a truly epic crash worth bragging about over beers back at the lodge. Funny when you survive a crash on the mountain; not funny to a doctor (or parent for that matter) who are awaiting a baby that is 11 weeks early in 1973.
Aaron goes on to tell of the challenges during his first months of life, starting with gastroschisis, a type of hernia located at the umbilicus that allowed his intestines to poke through and which was the cause of his premature birth. As an infant, he also suffered from failure to thrive (not gaining weight) and hydrocephalus (swelling of the brain). The latter required emergency, life-saving surgery. Aaron continues:
At this point, my valiantly qualified doctor let my parents know that with the combination of these conditions, it was most likely I would turn out to be a vegetable (I think he said asparagus, but I’d argue for cauliflower), and that I should be put into an institution; my folks should go home and try again…Seriously, they were allowed to say that to people back then? Wow!
Needless to say (as I’m still here to tell my story, writing this down for my friend, Joe), my folks chose to keep me around. I’m pleased with that decision, and I do make sure to thank them on a fairly regular basis.
Now that I know my mother quite well, I think her recollection of the events surrounding that discussion with the doctor in Miami must have been subdued in her memory over the decades. I’d have to assume that a phrase, or hand gesture that might imply “you’re #1” if you squinted, was most likely used in my mom’s response to said professional.
In fact, when I told her I was going to Florida with my best friend for our high school graduation trip, she wanted me to take my letterman jacket, honor chords, and proofs of other achievements and “find that SOB” as she politely put it.
Aaron was blessed with parents who obviously loved, nurtured him, and stood in his corner all the way, as they continue to do until today. He has become a successful entrepreneur and architect, with a sub-specialty helping homeowners with “aging in place”
Are there obstacles – physical or otherwise – that you faced during your childhood? You can overcome them just as Aaron did.
This is an excerpt from my book “Embracing Change From the Inside Out”
If you’re ready to make life changes from the inside out contact me, I will help you understand how to make those changes.
You can also contact me to speak at your next event, I will adjust my topic to the needs of your audience.