Making Change From the Inside Out Using Self-Talk
Why is it so difficult to make changes in ourselves? What are the obstacles we face in making change and how can we overcome them?
We need to look within ourselves before effective change can be made…
When you focus on people, places, and things outside yourself, and blame others for your problems, you set yourself up for misery. People often condemn in others those characteristics they hate in themselves. The thing they wish would change in others is usually something they dislike about themselves. It takes self-examination to become aware of this.
When you continue to hold yourself hostage by focusing on what you think other people should change instead of the changes you need to make within yourself, you lose the freedom to act in your own best interest. This leads to resentment, which is the poison you take expecting the other person to die.
Look within yourself to make a change.
The more you focus on the things over which you have direct control, the more effective you become. And one of the most effective ways to focus on what needs to be changed is to examine your own self-talk.
Try doing this exercise for the next few weeks (writing down the results in a journal can be very helpful):
- Listen to the messages you give to yourself – your self-talk. Self-talk is what you say to yourself about yourself, about others and about the situation atorvastatin lipitor. Be aware of whether your self-talk is positive or negative.
- Pay attention to your responses. Use your imagination to think outside the box to find healthier ways to respond to these situations.
- Visualize yourself responding positively to situations in which you would normally respond negatively.
- For frustrating problems, identify the degree of control and practice working on those things you can control and let go of those thing you cannot control. Remember that you can control yourself, but not others.
The Serenity Prayer can be a useful reminder about the limits of our control:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, and The wisdom to know the difference.”
Where should your focus be?
The more you focus on the things over which you have direct control, the more effective you become. You have direct control only over the things you think, feel, say and do. However, you do have some influence over what others do, and this increases as you build respect and trust.
Some things you cannot control. When you spend time and energy thinking, feeling, talking or trying to do something about things not under your control, you have little time or energy to work on what you can change – the change that starts within.
This is an excerpt from my book “Embracing Change From the Inside Out”
If you’re ready to make life changes from the inside out contact me, I will help you understand how to make those changes.
You can also contact me to speak at your next event, I will adjust my topic to the needs of your audience.